The mate I want to attract

Have you ever written a description of the mate you would like to attract? This is a fairly common exercise to do — to write up (or down) a profile of what qualities you would like to attract.

But maybe here’s something you have not considered. It occurred to me as I was writing about the mate I would like to attract that much more than not it is writing a self-description. I am essentially projecting qualities in myself I like or want to emphasize and painting them onto a blank canvas of my imagination. (I find a similar phenomenon in writing love letters, which is mind candy to ponder!)

Sometimes I look at personal ads on places like Craigslist and sigh at the huge laundry list of the wants people express. Like wow. And yuck. So even though the following may look like exactly the same wow and yuck, it’ s not. I have lived and loved enough in this life to know that if I yearn for someone 5’10” tall, someone 4’10” will come in and knock my socks off. Anything I think I want is subject to change because this is Earth School and I am here to learn.

So I write what I think I want and send it out into the universe.Painted-lady


She shares a compatible perspective of the world. She likes exploring all types of spiritually transformative experiences including out-of-body experiences, near-death experiences, mystical experiences, reincarnation, multidimensional realty, UFOs, and the idea that we are students in Earth School. The ultimate spiritual lesson is all about love.

She possesses a well-developed sense of humor. She looks at the world through a comedy filter and appreciates the cosmic jokes. She understands the concept that true mirth is the best aphrodisiac. She can do voices and accents and freely slings her wit around, but beneath the surface is always the wise woman’s love and compassion for humanity. She has a splendid bullshit detector and tempers it realizing that in Earth School we are all learning as we go, as we grow.

She’s in tune with her sensual, tactile appetite. She loves to hug, stroke, fondle, nuzzle, kiss, lick, and otherwise use her body to please herself and her partner. She understands that we as souls chose physical life for the unique experience that it is, and she appreciates that gift from a cosmic perspective. We’ll be out of our bodies soon enough.

In that vein she enjoys her sexuality as a precious gift from our Creator. She is sex positive and fluent in its different flavors — passionate, silly, fun, free, edgy, sweet, spicy, spontaneous, ecstatic. She would still call it a happy adventure even at our age. We are just as mental and emotional in our erotic expression as we are physical. We amaze each other even through our cuddling.

I respect and appreciate her fine, sharp, creative mind. We relish being each other’s teacher and student and frequently switch roles. She watches my back and I watch hers. Like me she enjoys mental exploration but is also very responsive to her heart and feelings, not totally stuck in her head and definitely not above being zany. She has a healthy relationship with her inner child.

Together we are sensitive, filled with grace, empathic, compassionate, generous and open-hearted. We are willing to communicate with each other, especially when conflicts appear; we want to heal these as quickly, gently, and efficiently as possible. We share our wants and needs and do not expect the other to mind read, even though we often do that, too.

In money matters we are financially responsible. We get most of our pleasure from non-material things, but still this world requires money and we earn ours in creative, inventive, nondestructive ways. We spend money wisely and are respectful of our property. We like nice things and keeping things nice, are reasonably clean and tidy, but also put top priority on love, feelings, creativity, and spontaneity. Our love for each other guides us in making the practical side of our lives flow as smoothly as possible.

We prefer the smaller town life over big city living, something like Sebastopol or Silverton or Ashland or Sedona. People are still friendly there. There’s enough nature and mental/spiritual stimulation around to keep us plenty content. We have a modest house which is easy to care for so that we do not become slaves to it, but it affords us a comfortable place to relax, garden, putter. We like to decorate and create art from natural elements like rocks, drift wood and other found materials.

We love our nature trips and sight-seeing. We love to get out into the fresh air to gawk, photograph, walk, ponder, flirt. We like driving in the country or along the coast exploring both old and new places. Most of all we like being with each other. As best we can we keep healthy and active. We give each other space to be alone and independent, recognizing that balance is good. We are best friends, truly partners, and welcome each other into the home we have created at the energetic level.

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