Seeking Jordan

fishbowlSeeking Jordan is a short book written by Matthew McKay, PhD, a father with a scientific background searching to find his murdered son in the afterlife. Having made contact through various psychological methods, he and Jordan have been having what amounts to a virtual relationship.

Embedded within the book that is largely channeled (written through automatic writing) are some startling statements that are like answers to some of the questions I have frequently pondered. Those include:

  • Are wars on Earth actually planned in other dimensions?
  • Is monogamy the most spiritual lifestyle, the cosmic right way?
  • Why don’t we get more clear answers from spirit?

Seeking Jordan is not intended as a proof book. It does not offer up much evidence for its content. Rather, it is what it is, a father’s attempt to cope with the premature death of his son. In fact, the father deals with his own angst of not knowing if the material he was channeling originated from Jordan or from his own imagination. That said, to me the book reads like an appetizer that suggests that a much greater and complete story of the universe awaits explorers who dig deeper into the body of knowledge.

The statements on war and monogamy that I caught were little asides that were given during answers to other questions. But what was given in those tiny asides shattered paradigms. If true and if they became common knowledge, they could forever change the way that many of us perceive things.


In the book, Jordan’s father quotes his son as saying this: “For example, souls born in the 1920s and 1930s had an almost 100 percent probability of facing World War II. Where they lived and how the war might touch them wasn’t likely to change. But choices they made responding to countless life events could change their circumstances—even to the point of altering the likely span of their lives.” (Page 84)

This was just an aside. The conversation was more about life plans in general, and in particular, did Jordan’s life plan include his being murdered at age 23? Yet these words point to the idea that World War II was a planned event! The implications to humanity are enormous.

The majority of humans deal with whether or not their country (or tribe, if you will) will go to war. We spend trillions of dollars on war and preparations for war. The suffering due to war is almost beyond quantification, let alone comprehension. (Fifty-five million people died in World War II alone.) So the idea that war could be designed in the spirit world (for karma or whatever other reason) is horrific—yet potentially liberating.

It is a horrific idea that anyone (soul group or God) would invent such sufferable conditions within which free will operates. This argument goes along the lines of if God is so loving, why does he allow such suffering? The answer usually is, “God doesn’t create suffering; humans do.” Yet maybe warfare is part of the Earth School curriculum and wars are designed for reasons mortals are not yet privy to. And it’s not as if many humans don’t love to entertain themselves with war stories of all types, from Ken Burns’ documentaries to John Wayne to Hogan’s Heroes.

Why liberating? If humanity researched, then eventually accepted that war is part of an Earth School curriculum, we might more quickly reject war as a solution to problems. Maybe war would cease. I believe it would be much more difficult to motivate soldiers to suffer the wages of war if the common perception was that it’s all a cosmic-consciousness game. We might instead choose to deny the military-industrial complex and deal with our karma without making more corpses. Making peace among nations would be a solution that would balance the karma from wars past.

The major objection to reasoning like this is that mainstream society doesn’t know if there really is a spirit world. Is Jordan, or any other channeled spirit, credible? We don’t know if consciousness survives death—despite a couple hundred years of research and tons of literature by gifted mavericks who studied psychic phenomena and endured the ridicule from colleagues and family. Not conducting serious research on this matter means that we stay stuck with the old paradigms about warfare.

I remember the old saying, “What if they threw a war and nobody came?” I pondered this possibility in a fun piece about ecstasy. At some point and for some reason, people may give up fighting even as their rulers demand it.


Through his mortal Dad, Jordan wrote: “Monogamy doesn’t exist is the spirit world. Each relationship, each incarnated role, is entered for the purpose of learning. Rules such as fidelity—while important mores on Earth—have no bearing in the spirit world, where each soul has had countless partners from the ‘neighborhood.’” (Page 65)

This addresses a philosophical question I have had for nearly fifty years. If God loves everyone (or Jesus or any other iconic spiritual voice), why are ordinary people so generally limited (religion being a major braking force here) in their expression of love? To me it seems like God is the ultimate polyamorist.

For decades I have enjoyed fantasies about Utopian societies a la Shangri-La where love and even sexual boundaries are fluid. A tribal mentality would be devoted to including everyone in love. I have also wondered if my experiences either currently or between lives in the spirit world have fed me the notion that loving everyone is—or at least could be—a good thing.

While Jordan called fidelity an important moré of life on Earth, the idea that monogamy does not exist in heaven is fascinating. It suggests that normalcy changes when a person changes dimensions. It also shows diversity in action, meaning that the change-making universe likes to shake things up.

In the broad scope of things, countless lives in the physical world have been destroyed by people trying to deal with monogamy in one form or another, either for it or against it. Consequences have included jealous rages (including murder and child abduction), rampant insecurity, the guilt and shame of adultery, porn and sexting addiction, competition for mates (winners and losers), loneliness, rejection, stagnation, broken homes, jail terms, in some places execution, etc.

While there are practical reasons for many people to live monogamously in this physical existence, religion could well overhaul its fire and brimstone approach to non-monogamy if it were an accepted fact that spirits love differently. Meanwhile, polyamory in the spirit world (which simply means loving more than one) has implications far more than just physical sex. To me it goes hand-in-hand with the oft-expressed idea that we are essentially all one, individual but united like drops in the ocean being both individual and collective.

Until writing this piece, I did not know that Matthew 22:30 says much the same thing. “For in the resurrection they [people] neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.” This takes “till death do you part” seriously.


Jordan made more of a point about uncertainty, devoting a chapter to it. He wrote: “Doubt lies at the root of hope, and it is the experience of hope that makes seeking possible, that drives the quest for new knowledge and wisdom. So doubt motivates learning, the quest to enter what is unknown, the determination to turn darkness into light.” (Page 91)

People often wonder, myself included, why there is so much mystery to so much of the communication from the other side. I have wondered aloud, for instance, why some mediums appear to converse so casually with spirits and yet seem unable to pin down some important specific facts like names, dates, and answers to direct questions. Readings sometimes take on the quality of guessing games. Barring that outright fraud is not being committed, could it be true that the earthly existence is actually designed to be mysterious?

We may look at this as a design flaw of the universe—why do we have to live with so many unknowns—yet isn’t doubt a mainstay of humanity? Don’t marketers of all stripes including politicians and leaders weave doubt into their narratives to hook customers and followers? Don’t they motivate us with doubt, like who or what will destroy us, torture us, kill us?

Humans seek to know answers so that they do not have to worry about things unknown. Seeking is often more like demanding answers. We buy products, services, and expert advice to feel as if we are safer from harm. So many people believe that the solution to all their problems would be to win the Lottery so that they could buy solutions to any doubt or need they had. It is a myth, however. Changes in any situation just bring new doubts to contend with.

Seeking Jordan is an interesting little book filled with gems to contemplate and explore. It is also an illustration of a path that a psychologist took as he grappled with the loss of his beloved boy. Along with so many other books and videos currently available, it paints a picture of a universe that is a lot more exciting, at least to me, than the version of reality peddled by materialists (and politicians.)

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